Australian Sports Weakly
  • Home
  • AFL
  • Cricket
  • Soccer
  • Tennis
  • NRL
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • Boxing
  • Cycling
  • Horse Racing
  • Contact Us

SEVEN NETWORK WINS CRICKET BROADCAST BID WITH MONEY SAVED FROM LETTING BASIL ZEMPILAS DO EVERYTHING

14/4/2018

Comments

 
Geoff Stone
PictureZempilas quickly zips to another set between filming.
The Seven Network, in a joint bid with Foxtel, have won the rights to broadcast Cricket Australia fixtures for the next six years. However, fans of cricket have received the news with a mixed reception after it was revealed that One Day International fixtures would be exclusive to Foxtel and, in order to save costs, Basil Zempilas will be made host of everything on the network.
 
Zempilas is already juggling co-hosting duties on Weekend Sunrise with AFL commentating duties, as well as reading the news for Seven Perth. Most recently he has featured during the network’s Commonwealth Games coverage as main commentator at the swimming events, and has commentated the Australian Open tennis while also taking on the Master of Ceremonies on-court position.
 
It is expected that Zempilas will be added to the cricket commentary team ahead of this summer’s coverage to keep costs minimal in lieu of adding more knowledgeable and experienced cricket personalities.
 
Similar strategies are expected to be employed over the Seven Network’s other key programs.
 
Long-running soap Home and Away is expected to drop the axe on Ray Meagher who has famously played character ‘Alf Stewart’ since the show’s inception. Fans of Stewart can expect to see the character continue, however, with Zempilas affecting a more broadly Australian accent and recounting the character’s famous catch-phrases, such as ‘flamin’ galahs’, ‘flamin’ mongrels’ and ‘flamin’ mongrel galahs’.
 
Zempilas is also expected to replace both presenters of the Seven Network’s prized property My Kitchen Rules. While existing hosts Manu Feildel and Pete Evans both bring unique qualities to their roles, the Seven Network is confident that Zempilas can replicate the best of what both have to offer. It is said that, for Feildel’s role, Zempilas will talk in an offensively slurred French accent and for Evans he will just open his eyes unnaturally wide.
 
Finally, Zempilas will take over from Brynne Edelsten on Brynne: My Bedazzled Life. No cosmetic or character changes will be necessary.
 
 Foxtel have not announced any of their presenters at this stage. Kevin Pietersen is not expected to play any part.

Picture
Share
Comments

    Archives

    January 2019
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    August 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016

Home

Sports

AFL
Basketball
​Boxing
Cricket
​Cycling
Golf
​Horse Racing
NRL
​Soccer
Tennis

Support

Contact
Australian Sports Weakly is a satirical news site. Don't take anything here as the truth.

Any attributed quotes that have been fabricated are highlighted in blue. That means the rest are real.
Australian Sporting Memory of the Week
Peter Filandia getting suspended for 10 matches for biting an opponent's testicles in the VFL.
  • Home
  • AFL
  • Cricket
  • Soccer
  • Tennis
  • NRL
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • Boxing
  • Cycling
  • Horse Racing
  • Contact Us