Australian Sports Weakly
  • Home
  • AFL
  • Cricket
  • Soccer
  • Tennis
  • NRL
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • Boxing
  • Cycling
  • Horse Racing
  • Contact Us

RORY SLOANE ANNOUNCED FIT FOR ROUND 1; REVEALED TO BE ERIN PHILLIPS IN MINIMAL DISGUISE

26/3/2017

Comments

 
Geoff Stone
PicturePictured: The perfect crime.
On the morning of the Adelaide Crows' first game of the male AFL season, Rory Sloane's inclusion in the side after missing the pre-season with a fractured eye socket has been revealed to be an elaborate ruse involving AFLW Crows captain Erin Phillips.

With almost no match experience in his preparation for round 1, Sloane was always in doubt to start against one of this year's premiership favourites, Greater Western Sydney. Phillips, on the other hand, who just helped Adelaide claim the inaugural AFLW Premiership, has been match fit and well practiced for the last 2 months.

Phillips was flown immediately from the Gold Coast, where the AFLW Grand Final was played yesterday, back to Adelaide for today's match. Sporting black mascara as an attempt to replicate bruising from Sloane's eye injury, Phillips had AFL officials and many journalists fooled. The inclusion of a drawn on moustache was what eventually gave Phillips away.

"I got carried away. In the excitement of the premiership win, and excited to keep playing footy, I went overboard with the costume," said Phillips, once caught.

"I'd done the black eye and the make-up was right there in front of me. I'm meant to be impersonating a guy so I couldn't resist. I did a big Groucho Marx moustache and I shouldn't have. Rory can barely manage a John Waters moustache so the jig was instantly up."

Adelaide are expected to name a replacement for Sloane/Phillips at midday. The other injury concern coming into the match, Taylor Walker with a hamstring niggle, appears to be fine. Walker fronted the media this morning sporting his trademark moustache to publicly declare his fitness, although some are reporting that he looked suspiciously like AFLW Adelaide forward Sarah Perkins with an exaggerated limp.

Share
Comments

    Archives

    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    November 2016

Home

Sports

AFL
Basketball
​Boxing
Cricket
​Cycling
Golf
​Horse Racing
NRL
​Soccer
Tennis

Support

Contact
Australian Sports Weakly is a satirical news site. Don't take anything here as the truth.

Any attributed quotes that have been fabricated are highlighted in blue. That means the rest are real.
Australian Sporting Memory of the Week
Peter Filandia getting suspended for 10 matches for biting an opponent's testicles in the VFL.
  • Home
  • AFL
  • Cricket
  • Soccer
  • Tennis
  • NRL
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • Boxing
  • Cycling
  • Horse Racing
  • Contact Us