The ghastly spectre of former Richmond great Jack Dyer is expected to be named the third member of a new AFL committee dedicated to improving the ‘look of the game’, with Malcolm Blight and Leigh Matthews already revealed as the first two inaugural members.
Blight revealed on Sportsday SA radio that he and Leigh Matthews had been approached by AFL general manager of football operations Steve Hocking to help with generating ideas to enhance the spectacle of the modern game.
Australian Sports Weakly can exclusively reveal that Hocking has already contacted the unearthly spirit of Jack Dyer via ouija board to add to his committee of people who have had no experience of the modern game in at least a decade.
"I think it's important in this day and age of quick rebound football, where fans are frustrated at the number of free kicks, and where we have a much higher duty of care to our players, to call in the help of players from a bygone era where no-one ran, free kicks averaged 80-100 per game and everyone punched each other whenever they felt like," Hocking said to ASW.
"It's with this in mind that we have also asked the ghost of Ted Whitten to join, Jack Thompson's character 'Laurie Holden' from The Club, and also Angry Anderson.
"Actually, if the disembodied phantoms of Jack Dyer and Ted Whitten still know any of those blokes from the Four'n Twenty Pies advert, we'll take them as well."
Criticism has come online from current and recently retired players, including Adelaide's Josh Jenkins and former Richmond great Matthew Richardson, who feel that former players from the last few years should be represented.
Hocking has hit back at the criticism saying that they're "bloody millennials" and that they "wouldn't know real football if it flew up their arse".
Malcolm Blight has already hinted that he has existing concerns with the modern game that he'd like addressed.
"Thirty-six players in one quarter of ground is my pet hate. I've got some ideas," said Blight.
Speaking via medium to ASW, Dyer also hinted at the first rule change he would make.
"Those modern players need to get off our lawn," said the legendary ghoul.
The AFL is expected to make formal announcements in the coming days.