Watch manufacturer Tissot have opted to take the AFL to court seeking compensation for a weekend of football that they claim circumvents the 'previously arranged agreement regarding close, interesting matches and our ongoing sponsorship'.
Throughout the 2017 AFL season, each game that has finished with a margin of a goal or less has had its final two minutes uploaded to online streaming sites, such as YouTube and Facebook, to allow supporters to relive the match's dying moments. These video clips have always been preceded by a graphic advertising Tissot, and while it's been thought that the large number of close finishes this year has merely been fortuitous for Tissot, this legal challenge suggests that the tight margins have been part of an established arrangement.
"We paid big money to ensure that not only would we get our brand advertised through viral online media, but that there would be at least one close match per weekend to maintain our desired level of advertising frequency," said a Tissot spokesperson, the Spanish-Irish-Dutch PR representative Juan O'Klok.
"We've been concerned that during the finals series, with fewer matches being played, that the AFL would renege on its commitment. The first three games last week were disappointing, so we called the AFL and they promised to make the final match, Port Adelaide v West Coast, extra exciting as compensation. That we were happy with.
"This week, however, much like Buddy Franklin, the AFL dropped the ball...repeatedly."
AFL Chief Executive Officer Gillon McLachlan has offered an explanation as to why there was no thrilling final this week.
"We fully intended to turn the GWS v West Coast match into a nailbiter, but projects of that magnitude cost money. We've sunk millions and millions of dollars into turning GWS into the Voltron of the AFL. We just couldn't raise enough money to finance a close game, especially since we only sold about 34 tickets.
"We've made a commitment to Tissot that next week we'll have two thrilling preliminary finals, possibly involving extra time, melees in the final moments and maybe even a god of thunder riding a flaming horse down a staircase in the sky.
"You just wait and see."
Tissot have said that court proceedings will commence at the conclusion of the AFL season, "unless something fucking big happens".