The overall use of the ‘broken clock’ analogy has risen 900% overnight as AFL fans learned the news that Sam McClure had correctly predicted Mitch McGovern’s request to leave the Adelaide Crows, Australian Sports Weakly has heard.
McClure, a journalist for The Age, 1116 SEN, and the Seven Network, has been much maligned for incorrectly predicting Rory Sloane’s exit from the Crows earlier this year. He also suggested that fellow crows players Tom Lynch and Paul Seedsman would be making probable exits before they re-signed. His correct prediction that the contracted McGovern would request a trade to leave South Australia was met with smug sarcasm and condescension, with many online commenters gleefully dusting off an old analogy about the efficacy of damaged timepieces that they’d been storing away for this very occasion.
Reddit user ‘Bearsicle19’ was quick to comment on reports that McClure was on the money by saying that “a broken clock is still right twice a day”, while Carlton fan ‘Fabulous_Dave’ also decided to comment, declaring that “even a broken clock is right twice a day”.
“A broken clock is right twice a day,” added Reddit user ‘motzart73’.
Across on the Reddit forum dedicated to the Adelaide Football Club, a similar message was being heard with user 'DuckyChaos' commenting that "a broken clock is right twice a day”.
Twitter told a similar story.
While the popularity of the ‘broken clock’ analogy has risen exponentially, proponents of competing analogies are still experiencing a surge in popularity. Use of the ‘throw enough mud at the wall’ analogy (and its closely related ‘throw enough shit’ analogy), has also risen upwards of 400%, while even the more obscure ‘even a blind squirrel will sometimes trip on a nut’ has been given a new lease of life.
When asked for a reaction, McClure seemed largely unaffected by the comments.
“Haha!” said McClure.
“Firstly, my watch is digital so the analogy doesn't even work. Plus, it’s water resistant to 100 metres, shock resistant to a 20 metre drop and can withstand extreme temperatures. It. Will. Never. Break. So the joke’s on them.
“Anyway, I bought it in Japan and it was the last one they made so you can’t have one, sorry.”
Trade talks won’t begin until after the season concludes, with the finals series set to start on Thursday September 6th.
The Sydney Swans have confirmed that scans of defender Alex Johnson’s right knee - injured in his second game since returning from an almost six-year absence due to injuries in his left knee – have revealed that we all live in a godless world of chaos and imbalance.
Johnson, 26, inspired his peers and fans of all clubs last week when he returned to play AFL football for the first time since the 2012 Grand Final due to persistent injuries requiring numerous surgeries on his left knee. While fans and his peers were vocal in their praise for Johnson’s positivity and resilience, the universe was largely unaffected by his uplifting story and continued its anarchic, karma-less, and depressive inevitable procession of random events resulting in Johnson seriously injuring his other knee this weekend.
After it was revealed today that Johnson will have to undergo extensive rehabilitation once again in order to return to AFL level, members of the footballing community were quick to share an empathetic message of support to both Johnson and his family which, according to coach John Longmire, has been well received by the shattered, but appreciative, star.
“Alex is a strong-willed lad and he’s shown that in the past, but sometimes constant disappointment and an ever-increasing number of hurdles can shake the strongest man’s resolve, which is why these messages of support are so important to not just Alex and his family, but the footy club as well,” said Longmire.
“But while their well-wishes are being gratefully received, any prayers they’re sending are just echoing off the corners of the cosmos, rebounding eternally through time as an ongoing testament to futility, zigzagging through the entropic deity-less clusterfuck that we call life.
“Everything is meaningless.”
Sydney head of football, Tom Harley, has said that despite the setback, Johnson will continue to play a positive role at the football club.
"As we saw after the injury on Sunday, Alex is the ultimate clubman and will be doing all he can to support his teammates from the sidelines for the remainder of the season,” said Harley.
“Although why we all are bothering is beyond me. We’re all gonna die in the end anyway.”
Sydney play Greater Western Sydney at Spotless Stadium on Saturday.
SYDNEY’S ALEX JOHNSON TO PLAY FIRST AFL GAME IN SIX YEARS; SWANS 2012 PREMIERSHIP PLAYER UNABLE TO RECOGNISE THE SPORT DUE TO ‘STATE OF THE GAME’
On Saturday, Alex Johnson, a member of the Sydney Swans’ 2012 premiership-winning side, will play his first AFL game since that fateful Grand Final despite telling Australian Sports Weakly that he doesn’t even recognise the sport.
Johnson, 26, is returning from five knee reconstructions 2,136 days after his last game at AFL level - an achievement that is being roundly praised by fans and his peers. However, Johnson has yet another challenge to face, this time in navigating a sport completely unrecognisable to the one he played six years ago due to the STATE OF THE GAME and its devolution.
Speaking exclusively to ASW, Johnson has revealed that from his unique perspective he can confirm that AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan’s fears - that the STATE OF THE GAME is a pressing concern – are justified.
“I’ve heard a lot said in the media, and I mean A LOT, about the need for more rule changes to improve our game and that Gil’s (Gillon McLachlan) plans to trial these rule changes need to come quickly, and I echo those sentiments completely,” said Johnson, who has overcome 12 knee surgeries to once again play AFL football.
“I guess I’m sort of like a human time capsule here, and I can tell you that the differences between my last game and my next one are huge.
“First of all, Horse (Sydney coach John Longmire) has had to try to equip me to deal with the congestion in modern footy, which has been tough. Then, after I’ve got my head around that, the other boys have taught me how to avoid those large pools of acid that keep sprouting up around the field nowadays. That never happened in my day.
“And if it’s not the acid pools, then there’s the condors that circle above, nosediving to strike you with their talons at every stoppage. It’s brutal out there.”
Fellow teammate Ben Ronke, who only made his AFL debut this season, told ASW that it would be a great morale boost to see Johnson playing once again.
“He’s great around the club telling all us youngsters stories about the days of yore when the STATE OF THE GAME was in much better nick,” said Ronke.
“After training he often tells us tales of a time when AFL football was a pleasurable experience to watch and play, in the years before used syringes scattered the field and before one member of each losing side would be publicly executed after the match.
“To have him play along side me – well, I’m gonna feel five foot taller, like I can run twice as fast, like I can jump twice as high.
“Which will come in handy when I have to jump the lava river across half-forward.”
Sydney play Collingwood at the SCG on Saturday at 7.25pm local time.