After the historic first week of Australia's premier Women's AFL competition, ASW reviews a weekend of, at times, confusing and bizarre action. 'Traditional' AFL fans were left scratching their heads trying to process what they'd seen. Brisbane won and GWS lost? It doesn't make sense.
CARLTON DEFEATED COLLINGWOOD BY 35 POINTS (46-11)
A locked-out crowd converged to watch the first match of the new league, with CEO Gillon McLachlan forced to personally apologise to fans outside the ground who were left waiting, giving a new demographic a chance to witness first-hand the AFL's communication skills.
Inside it was Carlton who dominated on the scoreboard with Darcy Vescio kicking four of the Blues' seven goals.
Collingwood had their fair run of the play, actually winning the inside-50 count 27-25 but the delivery to their forwards was left lacking allowing Carlton's Brianna Davey to set-up counter attacks from half back, finishing with 26 disposals.
Carlton coach Damien Keeping was proud of his side while also excited to try his hand at saying nothing in post-match interviews of any importance like his AFL counterparts.
"The players came with a real balance tonight of being in the moment, and recognising it for what it was, but also being prepared to perform," said Keeping, highlighting his players' ability to be conscious of both the concept of time, and also their location and duties.
ADELAIDE DEFEATED GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY BY 36 POINTS (48-12)
Adelaide, led by three goals from Olympian Erin Phillips, made easy work of the Giants in their opening clash at Thebarton Oval on Saturday.
The Crows had 20 more possessions than their opponents, helped considerably by Rhiannon Metcalfe in ruck who had 17 hit-outs, pushing the team's tally to 23 against the Giants' 9.
The Giants were without their marquee signings, Emma Swanson and Renee Forth, and their absence was notable.
"For a first hit-out, I was really pleased with their effort...I thought the girls handled themselves very well and I couldn't be more proud of them," GWS coach Tim Schmidt said, foolishly leaving himself no wiggle room for pride in future victories.
WESTERN BULLDOGS DEFEATED FREMANTLE BY 32 POINTS (44-12)
Fremantle's long-standing tradition of providing limited satisfaction to their fans continued with a convincing loss to the Bulldogs.
Emma Kearney led the charge for the Dogs, collecting 23 touches with Katie Brennan kicking two goals.
While Fremantle's wayward goalkicking may have cost them the chance to stay in the contest early, the 28-15 inside-50 count highlighted the gap between the two sides.
"The Bulldogs were incredible with their relentless tackling and their pressure," said Fremantle coach Michelle Cowan.
"When Sandilands and Fyfe return, we'll be much stronger through the middle," she continued, utilising the same excuse most fans used for their AFL team last year, making much less contextual sense.
Bob Murphy could only look on from the sidelines.
BRISBANE DEFEATED MELBOURNE BY 15 POINTS (25-10)
Brisbane have beaten Melbourne in a scrappy match in wet and blustery conditions, providing good experience that will hold them in good stead for their upcoming 35-degree plus games.
The game was interrupted by a lightning storm in the second quarter resulting in a low-scoring affair, with Melbourne dominating around the ground possession but not the scoreboard.
Karen Paxman collected 24 disposals for the Demons, while the leading ball-winners for Brisbane could only manage 13 touches each (Emily Bates and Brittany Gibson).
Melbourne had 18 more contested possessions (113-95), more inside-50s (30-19), more hit-outs (27-17) and more clearances (28-21) in a performance that puts a dent in their aspirations for the finals which are on in a minute.
"I felt like we were prepared and ready to go, but we didn't anticipate the unique conditions that we all faced today," Melbourne coach Mick Stinear said, drawing attention to his side's lack of preparation for apocalyptic global warming weather in February.
"Ron Barassi came down and spoke to us before the game and gave us some advice, but did he give us any insight into what to do when the game is interrupted by life-threatening weather and then resumed after a premature and lengthened half-time break for 3 minutes before starting the second half immediately? Did he fuck.
"STAY OUT OF IT, BARASSI."